Annie 'gave birth' to a baby this week, and brought it home tonight. She has talked about nothing else for the past week and was very excited. It was an optional activity in her Teen Choices and Challenges class.
Part of the assignment was her asking me about 15 questions about raising kids and how it changes your life.
For some reason, she wouldn't write down some of my actual answers to questions like..
~What will you do if I had a baby when I was in high school? I said 'kill you'..she wrote 'be really upset'
~What is it like to have a newborn in the house? I said 'hell'..she wrote 'it is really difficult and challenging'
~At what age do you think I should have a baby? I said never, you should adopt because I will not allow you to date, therefore you will not be able to ever try to have a baby at all...she wrote 'age 25 and married'
I think she has me figured out.
Meet Lily
Hello Lily
you look a little chemically unbalanced
your skin in an unnatural texture
and has an odd smell
but we still love you

Being the loving, caring, considerate mom that I am--I decided to allow Annie to get every possible experience and to make her take the baby to a couple stores after we picked her up from school.
It went very well until we got to Home Depot. Little Lily was a little cranky.
First the lady by the front door said 'OH MY GOD YOU SCARED ME!" guess not very many teenage moms go to their store.
Then, in the drywall repair aisle (don't ask) Lily threw her first fit. The look on
Annies face was PRICELESS. A mixture of terror, panic and
embarrassment. It was an actual work of performance art at it's finest.
In my ever constant state of composure, I proceeded to laugh hysterically at her. I actually started out
ok, then Clay (also laughing) says 'I think I am going to wet my pants'. Coming out of the mouth of a tough 14 year old kid it absolutely slayed me. I am talking can't stand up straight bent over at the waist, totally unable to talk, move, or help Annie at all.
Ken, of course, kept walking like he didn't know us AT ALL. Later, Clay said he would have left too if he could have walked.
Annie managed to hold herself together enough to figure out that the baby needed comforting and rocked it until it calmed down.
Her face was an awesome shade of red, the people at the
Behr paint counter would probably refer to it as 'stop light at night red'.

Oh the joys of motherhood.